Potential corruption. He's 19.
Get them while they're young!
Hey, what are you up to?
Drinking wine with the guys and watching 7 Pounds.
Looking back I guess I could have changed that to beer and Die Hard.
Tried to buy Xanax from my boss last night. Wrong Mike.
She has an album entitled "my photography", which consists of about 80 different pictures of a tractor that she took on her cell phone. I'm all for freedom of expression, but come on.
The amount of 12yr olds downtown right now boggles the mind. I can thank taylor swift for a glimpse at my future 3rd wife.
as he left, i held up my fist and said "pound it out" and he was like "are you serious, we just had sex..."
We fucked in his mom's shower and all I could think about was being too old to be sneak banging while someone's mom was out of town and how much mildew was on the shower curtain. Fuck you, Adulthood.
i asked the cop if we could stop and do a chinese firedrill.... he said no.
Once you've seen a girl stick a snake in her snatch normal stuff seems like Barney and friends
dude, we need a reunion soon, my vagina needs a deep massage. The kitty is ready to play
I just walked out topless, stared his brother straight in the eye, and ate all the rest of their cookie dough.
Hook ups at LEGOLAND don't count right?
Are we playing inappropriate sexual encounters bingo?
It's all fun and games until you have to pay the bar tab.
We knew it was an interesting night when we found my thong wrapped around a chocolate chip muffin in the fridge.
You kept shouting about how you were the king of all bitches...and doors, for some reason.
Randomize
