It's noon and i am somehow drinking by myself in a jazz tent in broad daylight.
I wont touch it. I promise i wont touch it. JUST GET UNDER THE DAMN TABLE PLEASE.
its like whenever the snow comes all the hott girls drop out of school. where are they
You told me alcohol would be the death of you then ordered 10 shots of tequila.
dont worry, it'll just be a conversation starter like "why did you get that pierced?" or "wow, i got arrested there too"
It's always a surprise to see what songs I shazamed and downloaded last night while we were drunk at the bar.
I NEED TO NOT REMEMBER THIS IN THE MORNING. He is our TEACHER.
Holy christ fuck what has my trainwreck of a life come to just blew a 17 year old so help me god
Can we end it on a good note at least? Can we fuck and then never talk again?
She wanted to roleplay. Apparently you be snow and i'll be a plow wasn't an option
Oh my god I forgot there were Band-Aids on my nipples
I feel like i'm walking on a never-ending field of baby sheep.
Yeah, this is not that. This is a father and son bonding moment involving my all of my orifices.
So what did you do since you didn't go out?
...ate chocolate and watched bring it on....it's like I don't even know what it would look like to be straight.
I RAN OVER A NUN! I RAN OVER A FUCKING NUN! GOD WILL NEVER FORGIVE ME FOR MY SINS NOW!!!
Randomize
