Is it a bad that I spent my 5 year anniversary with my husband texting my ex boyfriend?
let me put it this way. im never saying "join in or get out" again unless i know whos in the room.
she just announced that once she was paid to deep throat a light saber with a mint flavored condom on it. i'm speechless.
I hate nights where "I found my underwear" can be considered a victory.
critical mistake not lubing the nipples
There is a girl on the metro with no shoes and she's using a Crown Royal bag as a purse.
Do something fun then. Blow up the house or whatever.
How have you survived this long?
Dumb luck and a deal with the devil.
And we won't even have to pay the tab if we die AT the bar. So..win win.
I don't know at which point last night turned terribly, terribly wrong, but it was somewhere around Motel 6, specifically the parking lot.
I stared at him for a solid five minutes because he looked like what I imagine god would look like if god was a lumberjack
Do you know that you can buy Cialis in Mexico? Best. Honeymoon. Ever.
should we try and roll a cross joint since its good friday? you know, for jesus
Just got offered cocaine at ihop. Stay classy America.
I didn't even respond. Just letting the crazy settle before I calmly fuck his shit up.
If by fun you mean, did I meet her cousin for the.first time and bang him, then yes it was a productive evening.
Randomize
