You hook up with other guys, let him talk to other girls.
no
i want you now
you need to stop dating girls with the same name as your mother...or stop drinking so much...I don't want to see this
I just drove by a church. On the sign out front was written 'crocodile cock'. On both sides.
Thought I woke up to a girl giving me a handy. It was a male nurse inserting a catheter.
How did "just two beers for happy hour" turn into naked backyard wrestling?
i need to stop celebrating other people's birthdays like they are m own.. my body can't handle a birthday every week
I put my hydrocodone prescription in my cereal box its like real lucky charms
Pretty sure that molly fried my sinus infection away; i regret nothing
Hey, I took a sweater from your house. And, um, your little brother's virginity.
We fucked so hard that when I orgasmed I tore his towel rack off the wall. He was more impressed than mad.
Honestly you'd think more guys would be happy to date a cute female dealer, but apparently something about safety or whatever
I'm like a freaking volcano of life and sexual frustrations
I just want to nap all the time and eat Chinese food.
I am afraid of asking him for his new number so I continue to text the one that's no longer in service.
I am texting my ex and my future boyfriend while eating fish and chips with my current boyfriend... How and when did I become such a terrible person???
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