am i morally bankrupt?
no. its just the recession
I just ordered a 3 square foot pizza. This is how to beat an eating disorder.
I don't even have to turn the heat on in my car. Just fart the whole way home.
Sarah Palin is going to have a show on the discovery channel...Can I get a moment of silence for knowledge?
Sunburnt clitoris. How do I deal with it.
Ya know, in a round about way coinstar is just a glorified vending machine for all my bad choices.
While we were having sex he told me "this is what you get for not parking my car right" I have never drove his car. He was that kind of weird.
That penis you're staring at is the penis of heartbreak. Stay away. It will break your heart AND keep you away from other penises. BACK. OFF. THE PENIS.
Dad and I are shitfaced screaming at Canadians in Walmart. Life is good.
My unemployment came through so I'd like to thank the taxpayers of Utah in advance for my level of intoxication this weekend
I literally just biked home like I was on the last leg about to win the tour du France. Fuck diarrhea
Fuck man, my Dad's been single so long I get him a year's sub to a porn site every year for for Father's Day
Currently hot boxing a fort I made on our snow day... This is legendary
I'm on the porch day drinking and the neighbor is in his yard screaming about his amazing sandwiches, maybe we should move.
I just group texted a dick pic. Wonder who'll respond back first. Ashley Stacey or my stepmom
Randomize
