I actually told the people in the movie theatre to give me a cup and I would dip water from the toilet before I paid $4.50 for a bottle of water.
keep it on the DL tho cause i dont want it getting out and it coming off like i kidnapped her or something
I heard that if you win you get to have sex with me. You guys really need to stop wagering my vagina.
Xanax and allergy medicine look a lot alike when you spill them on the floor. Just saying that I still have allergies but I'm unsure if I still have legs
welp wont be popping out a kid with a beret. frenchie is gone and the mother nature showed herself. bilingual kid can be erased from the bucket list
I don't know. I was also picked up by the doormen and held over the bar so I could do an upside down shot out of a bartenders tits.
I said I usually like going out for coffee before torturing someone's genitals. He said he understood.
i'm exhausted. do you know how hard it is to put together an outfit that is professional enough to secure a babysitting job yet slutty enough to let him know i'm down for sex during naptime?
I JUST MADE OUT WITH A BRITISH SOCCER PLAYER. LONG LIVE THE QUEEN. GOD BLESS THAT COUNTRY.
I'm getting offered Candy Crush lives in return for sex. Like wtf.
First sex of the summer I'm winning 1-0
GET HOME NOW
Oh shit
Damn you. I'm in a bar with Southern Jesus Fearing Blah Blah Rednecks WHO ARE PROBABLY VOTING FOR TRUMP and you go radio silent.
So I've decided that blue balls for lesbians is rainbow balls and the struggle is real
Basically we had a threesome in one room and a fivesome in the next room. Its what I like to call a win win situation.
Our livers are going to hate us.
It's okay, they're regenerative. God wanted this.
Randomize