Just passed a strip club with a Marquis sign that said 'tis the squeezin'
i got us a cheese tray and a bottle of whiskey
ugh yes i love our date nights
OHMYGOD did I try to use pinesol as a mixer?
Dude I've kinda accepted I may leave Nola with the clap.
I'm drinking wine alone, eating leftovers, and cleaning my sex toys. For the love of god, do not graduate.
My main goal for tomorrow night is to make it back into my own bed
Also one of my neighbors is blasting "pumped up kicks" and possibly butchering some chickens
brushed my teeth nine times since getting home, still afraid there are pubes hiding in between my molars. fucking gummy bears
So we became Pizza Strippers- we stripped and asked for slices of pizza in return.
It's disgusting. He breathes through his mouth and just sounds fat. Plus he chews all loud and shit.
He was too drunk, and my mother and I ended up babysitting him. He told her I have amazing mouth skills, and that I love the "chorizo" he feeds me. All she said was "And on the list of 30 things you never want to hear about your daughter..." while gripping the steering wheel.Please just fucking kill me now.
I need to be her Aladdin, and show her the world. The sex world.
Sorry this is the worst night of your life and that you're being a baby about it.
im gonna miss him. and by him, i mean his dick
Too high to wash a dish but just high enough for a kitchen fire
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