he pointed at my clit and asked with a confused face, 'whats this thingy??"
im pretty sure i just dented her unborn child.
This was all being yelled across a beer pong table as all important things should be discussed
I don't get why Lindsay Lohan doesn't just blame her bad behavior on her twin sister from the Parent Trap. I mean nobodys seen her since.
I just realized I have my pepper spray, gun, and vibrator all in one drawer. One false grab and I'm screwed either way.
Check Facebook. Random dude tagged us in photos from last night dancing at Denny's while eating a sampler platter. 1. How does he have our names, and 2. You said we ate at Tbell.
I honestly don't know if ill make it through the next two hours. The hangover is strong with this one.
Haha...we lost by one cup to a guy w shitty facial hair. What makes me most mad abt the loss is that I could grow a better beard on my vag.
I passed out with my wizard stick taped to my hands and got woken up being poked with a St. Bernard
I feel like I got hit by a truck. Or a baby dinosaur. One of them ran over my body and then stuck me in a blender of fire and storm clouds
IDK I WAS CAUGHT UP IN THE TEQUILA SHOTS AND FRIENDSHIP
If he refers to me as slump buster one more fucking time.
Someone keeps hanging up bible verse posters in the bathroom stall I masturbate in at work.
You're the air beneath my wings and the lookout when I pee
He showed me his sex playlist and it looked good, so I slept with him.
Randomize
