So you're telling me it's impossible to have a "slight case" of chlamydia?
does dane cook know its not 2004 and that hes no longer relevant?
Fucked her within an inch of her life. Seriously. Don't choke bitches when they ask. Was way too drunk to be pulling that shit.
This girl has a second refrigerator that she uses JUST for liquor, her kitchen chairs are kegs AND she can grill. I'm not coming back.
apparently breaking a beer bottle and then throwing up in a urinal is a terrible way to pick up girls.
Question. Will thrown up fruit loops go down the shower drain?
Just proof I should've brought the airhorn with me to class.
He asked me if I could call his penis destroyer... Uhh SOS.
His apology was sex and a subway sandwich. Strangely, I'm okay with that.
Hon, I found you crying into a bathrobe in the back of a closet with a broken shoerack.
No I just rolled on the floor giggling. I think that's the equivalent to a post sex victory dance.
She could makes a perfectt roast dinner drunk but she nearly sets the kitchen alight microwaving popcorn.
It makes no sense at first, you go with it, it's fun and entertaining and then a disaster
Waiting on the notification from my fitness pal that tells me I'm an alcoholic
The body is still out there. I don't think my trainer realized when he asked me not to drink for 24 days, how often I see dead people
Randomize
