I didnt expect it either. But she was there and I had a boner, so i made it happen.
We just used hot candle wax from our joint lighting candle to make a bunch of new small ones how stoned are we
She just used a chaser for red wine.
Houston, we have a problem
where are u?
Houston. That's the problem. I don't know how I got here.
It's called 'beer pong' not 'everclear and coke pong' for a reason...
i will trade you pizza and a blowjob for a fifth of vodka.
do i get to eat the pizza while you give me the blowjob?
Her mom offered to give me a lap dance. I was a guest, I couldn't say no.
I'm never waking up next to someone after sex again. It's alllll downhill from there.
Drunk me Does not appreciate a drunk, naked you kicking me off the couch at 3am. You have a bed here, you dick
I'm curious as to what my outfit choices drunk me made for this weekend.
I have a tab of a google image search of onion rings open and it is making me so happy.
I felt like the hulk waking up from a black out except with munchies
LMAO. Stop. Men are such gentleman these days. I woke up with no one beside me and you got 6 cents
6 cents and no orgasm 💃🏻🎉
We are so blessed
thank you for the vibrator recommendation, i've come six times today and it's only noon
How’s big weiner McGee?
I’m going to ask you one last time to call him Matt and he’s fine thank you very much
Randomize
