My parents came down to check and make sure I wasn't into any mischief then proceeded to give me alcohol.
I love the "adulterer" look on you. It's hot.
Its part of my fall instant classic line.
Mission leave-the-puke-on-the-floor-til-the-dog-eats-it completed. I work smarter not harder
Tequila is the liquid version of celery. I lose more calories during tequila drunk and the following sexual activities than I gain by drinking it...
I have your dog in a headlock. Se wants my mushrooms.
I think I'm getting too used to throwing up in the reception trash can. It doesn't even phase me anymore
Walking down the street trying to find the pants I had on last night
Just once I'd like to throw a party where I don't have to clean up someone else's blood the next morning.
We never did figure out who the stuff on the wall came from, did we?
looking at my texts from you makes me want to throw up in my pants
Obama's speech on in 9 mins. Me in the shower now. Naked. Make your choice.
I'm bringing the tv in with me.
Woke up with a padlock locked onto my ear gauge and the first of many sticky note clues on my chest leading to the key.
I think people are normalizing furries
I had just gotten to his place and was about to get some dick. No way was I gonna let her negative attitude affect my orgasm feng shui
I told the cop I was late for a booty call. He still gave me a ticket but he wrote his number on it
you drug him to get him horny then deny him sex. freaks.
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