i tried to light my apt on fire. reasons why drunks and women should not cook
i now know from two sources i am better at making out and giving head than she is. and not by a little either.
Good news.. I found out what I did Saturday night. Bad news... I found out what I did Saturday night.
These headphones make me feel like I'm sitting on John Mayers lap and he's singing just to me. I picture like a pitch black room with a single spotlight on us. Also, convinced Kyle to give me percocet soo.
Dude he was freaking out because he thought he was walking on crates, and he just kept saying help me
God she is annoying. I am only keeping her around on fb because I want to see if her baby comes out looking like an alien or not.
I just fucked her in her boyfriends bathroom... he was in the room sleeping.
The best part about being single is knowing how much everyone secretly creeps behind their gf/bfs back. You wouldn't believe..Have a great date night!
Once I hang curtains in my truck bed that'll be feasible
I've got a 90 day supply of amoxicillin in case of zombie or chlamydia outbreak
Being the hot sister definately has advantages, I'm pretty sure I ruined her engagement
There is no issue with you seeing me...morally or ethically. we'll update your resume anyway. I really need to have sex with you later. Really
You're his holy grail. The moment he finally gets you to orgasm he'll probably just retire and become a monk.
He’s perfect! He listens to Genesis during sex and has a VW bus!
You really are from the panhandle, aren’t you?
I ate at the cafeteria for the first time yesterday and today I think I had an hour long fart.
Randomize
