She accidentally pre-ordered us Dominos for the next day at 11:30am... we were very confused when we woke up.
For sure. We should see if we can get Mike to pay for one, and have a triple kegger... :o==& (that's future me projectile vomiting. i try to be goal oriented)
Writing apology letters and leaving them on peoples doors for your actions is NOT what I want to be doing at 6am.
I woke up to find his roommate face down on the couch with no pants on, with a sticky note that said "was lost but now am found"
I feel like death crawled up inside me and died. That sick
NOLA update. Went to Corey Smith at the house of blues last night. Drank PBR and took lots of shots of Jack. Too drunk, cabbed it to the hotel and fell asleep while having sex. Not my finest moment. Now I'm in court. I can't wait to be your attorney.
Well its official, I'm into significantly freakier sex than even I thought possible.
he'll always be the guy that i fucked on the bathroom floor
I could drive to your house and kick you in the nuts right now....and not even stop for a burrito
By god, his vagina is better looking than mine.
He said his fantasy involved both of us fucking while stuffed into the same overalls
I'm literally in the bathroom for two minutes and I walk out to a random dude with his face in your tits
Why would you keep yourself in a sharting situation
You snapped me at 3am drunk laying on your floor asking if I knew how we couldn't have predicted the housing crisis.
I don't wanna see it, I don't wanna touch it, I just want it in me.
Randomize
