My jaw hurts. Such a slutty injury..
And then I have a slight inkling that I went up to the bar and tried to order the bartender.
i feel like arbor mist is too classy for that. you need a colt 45
Yeah you're right. The one time when arbor mist is too classy
For those pictures, I will suffer this headache.
All i remember before i blacked out is you pointing to a random chick and telling me to bang her for America.
four guys that i have slept with have come into my job today. FOUR. i feel like it's like bring your sex partners to work day.
In the middle of pouring my wine you asked me if I could hear your vibrator from my room.
I've been alternating between telling people I was mauled by a bear or hit by a car to explain the massive unexplainable bruise on my leg. Slightly more worried now that the car idea is believable.
You are going to be so proud of me, I'm wearing underwear AND tights. That's two layers more than usual between my vagina and the world.
shes on the ground doing bicycle kicks screaming "is my ass good enough for you now satan" send help
You showed up at 4 a.m with two middle-aged men, a 200 dollar bottle of wine, three bottles of beer, no shoes on, and a half eaten red velvet cake.You are never drinking absinthe again.
I think our prof has caught onto our drinking game. He burst into the room with a big smile on his face and yelled "essentially! Essentially! Essentially!"
Hooked up with a guy resembling a bearded Cher. I need the lenses on my beer goggles fixed. Pronto.
My mom just woke me up with a cowboy hat and sunglasses on. It's 7 am and she's drunk.
So you just held his hand and he fucking came...?
Randomize
