I miss having pregnancy scares ....at least i knew i was having a good time
Can you still call it a wet dream if sandwiches were involved?
It ended with me crying and eating pizza in my closet.
I have the money I owe you for auctioning off your black thongs. Best 30 bucks ever spent
Dude, Taco Bell gave me a free fiesta potatoes when I won a bet on wether I could fit the entire rim of a cup in my mouth.
Just come here and visit. Enjoy the deliciousness of me being legal. Just don't think, and come here right meow. meow meow meow.
The venue for the new years party is close to the hospital for obvious reasons.
Topless bubble bath with a lesbian is debatable as a gay experience.
Lol i have proven this trip that I can meet a chick and fuck her within 72 hours no matter where she lives
Operation: pick up a lawyer was a resounding success. Commence operation: football mugshot weekend
Her craziness is the sexiest thing about her.
I can't wait to read your obituary.
I was thinking we could get together and exchange gifts, and by gifts I mean orgasms.
Can't. Way too high. Forgot how to operate doors. Stuck outside.Come get me.
Do toy wanna orseer frim onedof tjose plaves? Sry textimg with globes on
Gloves*
Out of all the words to correct, you chose gloves??
I'm hearing voices and sirens. I'm scared. I heard a manatee out there.
Randomize
