I wish my cat could text because i would tell him that everything will be ok. and i wish he could send them back..but him have no thumbs. him no know what he would text with.
Classy? Dude, she fucked 3 guys as part of a scavenger hunt
And?
Puking blue powerade in mcdonalds parking lot to the applause of the guy taking out the trash with man in the mirror blasting in the background. Good morning stl
Nothing ended up happening last night because he couldn't get my overalls or fanny pack off. I woke up this morning with one strap over my overall shorts on, my fanny pack wrapped around my chest, and the baby doll still tied to my hand. Ugh white trash parties!
I woke up to them arguing over who would get my morning wood. Oh, and I was dressed as Santa.
I have a sudden craving for National Treasure 2. THIS IS WHY DRUGS ARE AWESOME
I feel like I had a lobotomy last night. I blacked out. Did we try to stick my Penis in a beer bottle?
I cannot for the life of me remember why I am holding this rabbit.
You are a piece of meat with a side of awesome to me.
Turns out both me and my grandpa have a guilty pleasure for South American men.
You better not fucking die before we have sex while you blow fire. I'm serious. Don't mess up my sexual bucket list.
Probably shouldn't be looking at memes at my grandmother's funeral
Tequila should only be paired with the finest of dick
not only did he puke in his mouth and hold it.. He also sneezed while doing this
Yeah. Of all the things to be cock blocked by a plague is the most unexpected.
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