I don't even remember his name...i'm just gonna save it as birthday sex
watchout when you come home, dougs at the top of the stairs naked eating doritos
I threw up red last night... I wanted to pinch myself because it wasn't green.
I can't. He's too cute and my tongue is too long.
coming out of a blackout being surrounded by Disney police was not as awesome as it sounds.
My stomach is revolting cause i have put food in it and no alcohol.
So the night ended when we tried making fireworks out of gunpowder and oregano. You can figure out how that went.
Also, in the middle of me riding him, he said "I want you to dance on my dick" like I was supposed to know what that means
Yeah to go race car driving with a 54 yr old gastroenterologist. I really wish you'd come to have that drink with me Wednesday
Knowing that porn stars want to fall in love is the weirdest thing I've found to be beautiful recently. I'm so lonely.
My sister's exploding appendix just cock blocked me...
STOP FUCKING TELLING PEOPLE ABOUT THAT TIME THAT GUY CAME ON MY FACE WHILE I WAS ASLEEP!!!
Doug the spinning teacher gave me chlyamdia
I don't know what to do about my nipple.
I guess it's part of life. Sometimes your ex boyfriend becomes a drag queen.
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