How do I get over judging people who I would be exactly like if I had a boyfriend
Get a boyfriend
a guy in a toll booth on I-90 told me to fuck off for not being a red sox fan. i am going to miss massachusetts very much.
what day is it and did you see me today?
see you put your penis in her and it's like an ignition key to start the crazy
I am currently in the waffle making stage of highness
wait one more day. tuesday is my official "i hit on you and/or we hooked up this weekend" friend request day.
I cant talk about it right now or let you guess, but its something you and i would do. Kinda like that time we had the case of beer and went bowling
You hooked up with minors in a golf cart?
I found out what happened to my eye. I punched myself in the face.
bad decision saturdays are such a good decision
I forgot how easy it is to have sex in public when you're wearing a dress. Thank you global warming.
I probably should have waited until after the game to pity fuck him. You know, seeing as we lost.
Are you stuck outside of your house because you forgot to walk up stairs? Cuz I've been there.
Grandma and I are gonna see the new Tarzan movie, because we both appreciate shirtless Swedish men
so he found out i have him as "average size" in my phone. fair to say we arnt going to be dating anymore
Are these your boobs on my camera?
Randomize
