he's making romantic advances towards me. and he has a pet snake. 2nd part not relevant, but interesting.
just ate frosted cheerios in coffee with some marshmellows. the college diet begins
She was so happy she found her sunglasses, that she blew me. Im now randomly hiding things of hers in hopes she'll find them and I'll get a repeat performance.
is it bad that I only want to go to my boyfriends house bc I want to see his roomate walk around with his shirt off?
the boy next to me on the plane handed me a shot glass, then a perkaset, and told me to have a good week off..hellllo spring break.
Just saved her as "new hostess that randy banged" ...I forgot her name
picked up a girl by parallel parking. i love this town already.
I was sleeping on the bathroom floor and thought a wet towel might keep me warm.
Sign she's a keeper: "I would rather be late to brunch than waste a perfectly good boner."
I'll explain later but basically I was feeling dangerous, I'm dressed as Ann Romney and Ann Romney is a bad bitch.
Super awkward that I just now realized I added no verb to the first statement about super hero porn. We were watching it, not making it. Clarity.
You gotta own your makeout pics Matt. They're like badges of honor
She'd probably like you more if you'd stop fucking her husband.
If a guy makes a dick joke within 24 hrs of matching am I just setting myself up for disaster if I say yes to a date lol
I may have dislocated my hip getting fucked on the bathroom counter
Randomize
