Just passed an anti-circumcision dude with a sign. Handing-out-bibles guy has been officially one-upped.
ra ra ra ah ah
wtf?
sexting lady gaga style
things I have learned from cosmo today- 40% of guys are uncircumsized, you can have a beer facial, and i really need to get tested for std's
Watching the gap toothed girl get more ass than me is almost devastating.
you left a paper here that says 'to do list' but it looks like you just wrote "drink a bunch of cough syrup and watch Who's the Boss" like 60 times
I feel strange, like something is off with my body
Yeah that's called sobering up, we've been drunk for the past 4 days
You are. Embrace it. But you are the right kind of asshole.
gorilla chasing a banana on crotch rockets. Halloween is getting way too real
you showed up at my door at 3am, handed me a bag of cold chicken nuggets and said "lead me to the non-irish Siobhans," do YOU think you were tripping?
You kicked me our in the middle of a blizzard with a dead phone. I had to give my watch to a pizza delivery person to take me home. You owe me a gyro too.
So anyway, I'm just floating along life with my vibrator and low expectations.
sometimes you just gotta rip off the nipple tape and get it done.
I think even the taco bell employees judged me
she compared me favorably to her vibrator
which one?
Our baby is creepy.
That's how we know it's ours. haha
Randomize
