i hate having sex with him only a few drinks in. i like it better when i cant remember the gory details.
drank two beers while on the toilet at home during lunch break. new high or new low, not sure
dude your alot more fun to hang out around now that your addicted to coke...but seriously you need to stop
whoever says they hate hangovers just doesnt know how to embrace them. i'm eating a mashed potato sandwich and watching grind.
I guess I'll put a green shirt on. Also, I just snorted some protein shake power. That doesn't have anything to do with St. Patrick's Day. I just wanted you to know in case i die.
Why is everyone in the bowling alley looking at me like i'm a prostitute just because I have bunny ears on?
You may or may not have poured bacon fat down her shirt
Just walked out of 7 11 still in uniform when 4 girls in bikinis in a convertable screamed "we fuck firefighters!"
Career choice validated
We interrupt your regularly scheduled Saturday morning programming with this important announcement: you are not the father. I repeat not the father. Congratulations and have a nice day.
We got kicked out of the ice rink last night for drinking and checking strangers... but they let us keep the beer
No...this little piggys going to the bar
first time i ever mailed panties back to a fuck buddy. what better of a way to say its over
10/10 would definitely still fuck you dressed as squirrel
Like who turns down taking a nap inside of someone in 2014.
we need to open a bar. a bar with... wait for it... A FUCKING BALL PIT.
LOL. Do you guys need a ride home?
No. we're home already. i just thought it was a brilliant fucking idea.
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