Def slept AT the bar last night, wow that's a first!
There's a technique?! I just slide my tongue around
hey soul. what's that? you, dignity and pride are left for the night? coulda told me that before i vomited all over my mother.
And surprisingly enough iPhone does not have an app for Russian mail order brides.
I didnt believe in cockblocking untill my roomate brought home that.
She told me she wanted to wax my ass. I'm terrified and oddly aroused.
I feel wrong giving my mom a cash gift full of dirty stripper money.
I think I just found part of a tooth on my bed... What goes on in here?
You were pretty dunk by the time you introduced the vase as your best friend.
Dude I'm about to just roll over and piss off the side of my bed, rather than make the conscious effort to get up and walk to the bathroom. One of those hangovers.
I am taking a candle lit bath, blasting some tupac and smoking a fat bowl. This is how every night should end. Did you go take a piss in his car yet?
Is biking from my house to 6th street for liquor pitchers a good idea or a bad idea
I swear to fucking god if he takes away netflix I will have no problem sending his gf our sex videos
now acid just makes me think of crab ragoon
Whose house did we sneak into and play beer pong for 4 hours at last night?
I honestly have no idea
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