Getting drunk in a different country is not a good idea. Lets just say spanish women, 17 yr olds from missouri, prostitutes, and a poodle. I don´t want to leave spain.
sometimes i just want to live alone. my roommate keeps looking at me weird like hes never seen a girl eat plain salt before
kindergarten is hard when you're hung over.
So when I got her home I realized being a lesbian again isn't like riding a bike...
Beware of calls from Dad. I just had a longer than I would care to admit convo about the ididarod. Apparently it starts tomorrow.
Houston, we have a squirter
Other than a hickey from some random Canadian roller derby girl, I came out unscathed
accidentally stumbled into a construction site at 3am on the way home. The bulldozer was locked so we had to settle for rerouting traffic with all the orange cones...
My dad just told me I can't passout in the driveway after the 4th of July parade this year, again
Just woke up from an extremely erotic dream featuring Steve Buscemi. Now I can't sleep.
You were petting a 40 year old man's moustache for 15 minutes
He said his name was Tony, after last night I will refer to him as Tiny
One door closes, one man cooks for you through the next open door
Quickly hiding the condom wrappers, ropes, and handcuffs right before the parents arrive to help with moving out? Priceless.
Why is there a horse in the backyard?
I stayed at my gfs last night. This is all on you.
Randomize
