dude, you're being a jerk.
sorry, didn't mean to pull a Cheney
why does hillary duff have a greatest hits album?
normally i'm against accepting campers on facebook but this one saw me giving head to another counselor and didn't say shit about it to my boss so i feel like shes earned the right to look at my sloppy drunk pictures
The bouncer said he wanted to but BBQ sauce on my legs. That Mystic tan has already paid for itself.
I ended up with a gash in my head from drunken dancing last night. I love life.
She wanted to roleplay. Apparently you be snow and i'll be a plow wasn't an option
Just do let me go home with anyone especially I a guy with a hair sweater
I should come with a disclaimer that reads "bad at relationships and defensive when confronted about it"
or maybe "WARNING: picks fights when bored"
I think the best part was the fact that the stripper's lock screen was a picture of the virgin mary
I just really hate taking care of things... If I can't fill it with liquor I'm not sure what to do with it.
Of course I fucked him. He's a professional beat boxer, his entire job is to do complicated shit with his tongue.
I want to get a list going called "D list celebs I've kissed"
She was blacked out on the couch MASTURBATING and whispering to her boyfriend...who wasn't there. I yelled her name and she didn't even pause.
how does that bad decision feel?
So the makeout sesh? Not so great. His stubble rubbed my face raw, he tried to push me towards auto-erotic asphyxiation, and he licked my forehead. Twice.
Randomize
