don't tell her this, but while we were doing it doggy style I picked up my phone and changed my status to "who let the dogs out"
I'm dreading the fact that when the dominoes guy comes, he will ask me if i placed an order under the name "high as shit".
I'm gonna stay in bed all day and watch porn in an attempt to stay warm.
Soo I have a handle of 100 proof captain, cupcakes, and nothing to get up for in the morning.. This blizzard is shaping up to be a great night.
i just ran into our bio chem professor at the bar. apparently, he doesn't follow the "no slapping your students' asses" rule.
Would it be cruel if i sold xanax instead of adderall to freshman unfamiliar to the drug-taking profession?
I feel like I have streams of color and coldness wrapping around my body.
She wasn't to happy when she went to put her shirt on and it was covered in cum I just looked at her and said collateral damage....
He probably tastes like german chocolate and coffee beans
Seriously though, my ovaries are trying to crawl out of my body and into his pants.
BTW rolling him off the couch and onto that tarp was pure genius. He definitely pissed himself last night.
Drunkenly making hamburger helper. I just whispered "I can't wait to have you in my mouth."
Mom has wine in a to go cup. It's that kind of night.
I almost stopped mid bj to let him know I appreciated his balls being nice to look at/have my face near. But I didn't know if that would ruin, or improve the moment.
What?? I could've slept with an ordained minister!
It was very surreal. They were listening to a religious podcast on morality while they both went down on me.
Randomize
