I'm at work and it's 1:30. I need a beer. is that bad?
Welcome to every minute of my life.
Puking blue powerade in mcdonalds parking lot to the applause of the guy taking out the trash with man in the mirror blasting in the background. Good morning stl
winter break is going to suck... i have to put away my college personality and transform into who my parents think i am.
we were going to warn you, but we veto-ed that idea somewhere between "this is the stupidest thing we've ever done" and "let's order a pizza"
fine. I googled it. you have to eat 5 to die so apparently I'm in the clear.
its like national bring your ginger to the pool day or something
i want the original willy wonka imagination song to come on when i take a girl to my room
Things are going great. I have tons of beer, margaritas, and theres an inflatable swan in the mix.
I think she must be bulimic. I mean, every time I see her I know i want to throw up.
Not rlly sure. Might just drink and sleep. Gotta wake up for my last rabies shot lol
He called it restless penis syndrome. I call it cheating.
I feel like I was eaten by a coyote, then shit over a cliff...
You are an awesome peach made of glitter.
He is 6'5, went to a Christian school and he's a violinist....I'm going to fuck the jesus right out of him.
Dude I just woke up with a dog sleeping on me.
I thought you didnt have a dog??
Exactly.
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