Friends don't let friends fuck ugly girls. WALK AWAY FROM HER!
i feel like i'm a professional at blowjobs i can deep throat an entire spatula
he was persistant. I supposedly owe him a bj from high school.
Just threw up in the garbage can outside the liquor store... I'm pretty sure that's some sort of distress signal.
Why do I have flashes of a dark shed in my memory?
Because we had sex in one.
i just unblacked out cuddled in a pita pit booth with ten dollars rubberbanded to my hand.
I'm pretty sure they changed the plants at the grocery store because of us
Me and two guys that I made Eskimo bros all soberly slept together in my bed
I found where he bartends and I guarantee you that in approximately nine months from this Friday, you will have a niece
I had to switch to male Siri because I could feel female Siri voice judging me for reading my sexts out loud. Also, the dude voice keeps me in the mood.
I'm about to play another round of who's panties are in my car.
We were getting breakfast he shit himself in the middle of ihop. Mid bite he just yells out o fuck.
Our relationship is perfect
90% threatening to punch him in the dick 10% actual dickpunching
she said she doesn't remember seeing me at all last night. ...I was with her for six hours, there's no way she could have been blackout the whole time
It's magical, I'm just dancing. It's like prom but by myself and with less clothes.
Randomize
