Should I ask him to prom mid fuck? That way he has to say yes.
My toast was "here's to being positive, and testing negative... Cheers!"... after that chick gagged on her shot, everyone knew.... slut.
you cant keep talent like that locked up in a relationship
was his dick as big as our hopes and dreams?
I blacked out before two in the afternoon yesterday. Now that's a successful birthday.
Our sex has gotten so much better since we broke up.
This guy just asked me to stab his arm with my keys to make sure he wasn't dying.
I don't know which is worse, the fact that he can say will you fuck me in so many languages or that I'm turned on because of that
There's Dick Pix, Zorro, and The Little Engine that Could. I nickname my fuck buddies for the exact same reason why you don't name animals which you will one day have for dinner.
There is a guy here calling himself the pants less weed fairy
I sent my roommate a text from MY phone that said, "I don't know where my phone is." Must've been a good night.
If Plan B had a rewards card I would have earned so many free tote bags by now
You had to dry your pants with the hand dryer in the bathroom because you "forgot to take it out."
I lost my virginity to Adventure Time. DO YOU NOT UNDERSTAND THE SIGNIFICANCE?!
I mean, if I asked you, would you cum on cotton candy for me?
Randomize
