I need to shower the guilt off of my thighs.
Is it gay to rub my penis between my butt cheeks and pretend that they're tits?
Wow! You need to get laid.
Just showed mom and dad the pics from San Francisco, while i played the Full House theme song in the background.
She had a muffin-top while wearing a one piece bathing suit. Thats gotta break one of newton's laws or something
He was having a "party in the princess castle." At what point do I blindfold him and take him to AA?
I think my body knows it's dying and is just shutting down
You know you need to get it together when a frat guy wakes you up and says you need to go to class
I'm drunk listening and crying to Selena. How's your Monday?
and idk now I have nine bags of lettuce in my fridge
Dilemma. I'm out of wine and I can't put on clothes to go to the liquor store bc I just got spray tanned. If this isnt white girl problems I don't know what is.
Just got up.... With the club stamp on my ass.... How did it got there????
I kept telling you not to give them blowjobs, but you kept screaming back, "it's okay, we're friends on facebook!"
I was trying to sext but got a notification that my dad and professor both commented on my Facebook photo. Bad timing.
Going to jail. Warrant. Be home late. For the love of god turn your ringer on.
Sitting in the dr office she literally looked at my throat and goes have you been having oral intercourse
Randomize
