This girls a $30 bar tab from being bi
Just ran interference for her again. Sometimes i wonder how many times in my life i'll have to be a cock block at the clinic
We waited til after. Not even drunk sex felt right during a Disney movie.
Chalk up having sex in a car wash.
btw found the cat. he didn't appreciate the toilet bath.
I just had a full choir singing the phrase pudding cup in my head. Too. Stoned.
You are so predictable. I am willing to bet 20$ that instead of going out you are sitting on your couch, stoned, watching Seinfield re-runs and eating cheezits.
1. they're goldfish. 2 fuck you
Don't even start with me. You know damn well if you walked into a bathroom with two girls naked in the shower you would stay too. Regardless how drunk I was or whether or not you were my ride.
The plane down was full of newly weds and I counted 5 pairs of mile high club members. Actually, one might have been a group membership discount.
Pretty sure that propositioning you to fly across the country for sex fest '13 isn't something my husband would approve of.
He said that he made a girl squirt to the ceiling and I got curious
The cop looked me right in the eye and apologized for cock blocking me.
You reached new levels of laziness. After we woke you up to take shots with us, you stayed in bed so you didn't have to move when you were drunk and sleepy
Going back to our hometown to help Gramma move. Thinking we should see if we can fuck on the desk of the homophobic coach who first introduced us while in town.
FINE I guess I'll just drink regular coke like a PLEBIAN.
Randomize
