He is either going to be in my pants or get a restraining order against me.
used his ipod to set the mood...1st song was livin on a prayr 2nd song was disco stick
i expected more from guys that i meet at the jersey shore.
just woke up and he was jacking off in the corner.. am i being punked?
me texting you is like we have secret walkie talkies.
My teachers should feel privileged to see me this morning, after the amount of alcohol I consumed last night.
pretty sure i saw you masturbating on chatroulette a minute ago. yes, i can recognize your cock
I THOUGHT I SAW YOU
I think the last straw was when you put on ice skates to go across the waxed wooden floor.
Well, my eyeball is red and the rest of my eye is black. Oh the joys of drinking with u. PS- I laid in a pile of sawdust. it was ok at the time.
So again no comment on the cleavage. I'm a bit disappointed. If those girls come together to make cleavage AND I send you a pic of it, you have to comment on it. That's like relationship 101.
I respect your roll as DD and there're am required to respect your vehicle
all I'm saying is if you're gonna fuck a fat chick do it in a pool it's like zero gravity or something
how did you graduate high school
I never thought my selfie stick would come in handy for nudes.
I climbed up on the tank of the toilet so I could take a slo-mo vid of myself pissing into the garbage can, but the base of the toilet shattered and I had to bail.
I just hooked up with a one legged Australian guy. Hooray diversity!
Well, he didn't buy me a birthday present but he sure did give me chlamydia so there's that.
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