There is a reason Crest White Strips don't list masturbation as one of the myriad of activities to do while whitening your teeth. A very good reason.
Would you let Jessica Biel poop in front of you to see her naked...but you have to wipe her too?
she's in the bathroom throwing up right now...what is the hookup protocol after she is done? what all can I do with her?
Does she know that uploading nude photos to photobucket and networking are two different things? You may want to ask.
So I just learned that my father was teaching me rules for drinking games when I was 5.
In the future let's not drunk dive in the fountain in front of the hotel bar.
And there are taco shells on the ceiling fan
New definition for "rock bottom": Waking up in a puddle of your own puke, missing your fake tooth. Then having to dig through said puddle of puke for aforementioned fake tooth. Think it's time I quit partying so hard.
Is this your way of breaking up with me as my wingman?
Not sure if this is better or worse than the discovery that bourbon and hot chocolate is a viable combo
i can feel the knowledge leaking out of my brain
replace it with alcohol - nature abhors a vacuum
you ate the make a wish sign. Like actually chewed on it. It was our solution to going outside when the cops were there
went to their party, left halfway through to fuck a pledge, came back to keep drinking. I think everyone won.
He staggered in with his pants around his ankles and yelled that he lost his pants
DO NOT LET HIM TAKE CONTROL OVER YOUR BOWELS
And you will die and be carried in a backpack before I allow you not to comply in this tomfoolery.
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