You don't get off work for this? I feel genuinely bad for you.
I'll have a beer when I get into the office. Yes, I hide beer in my work frige.
I am not hooking up with him just to see what his penis looks like.
it's not gay if you rub your penis between their butt cheeks and pretend they are tits
ra ra ra ah ah
wtf?
sexting lady gaga style
so high i just made my own version of grilled cheese using toast and spray cheese
here comes the puke
Yeah, I just met her and we got arrested together. I think it was a good bonding experience.
We left an ass print on the piano.
I'd say the best part of the party was when you screamed to everyone that you were gettin dome on the reg
You woke up, laughed, proceeded to throw up on me and then passed out again.
ecstacy + fleshlight = not all that upset about being newly single anymore
I made out with about ten people last night. And four of them were just on the way to my car from the bar. And one was my roommate.
I didn't think this needed to be said, but our sexts are an emoji free zone
You know you turned your life around when your drunk eating salad at 3 am on a Friday night
This girl in my class is lecturing my professor about zombies. It has been going on for 15 minutes.
Zombies?
Zombies.
Yeaaaaa...im super disgusted with myself lol...which is interesting, considering all of the things I have done in my life...
Randomize
