carls jr on main st. japanese tourist taking a dump in the urinal. reading a japanese newspaper and wearing a full suit.
be there in 3 mins
Sign #1 this conference will suck: Ice breaker question, how many proud virgins do we have in the room, overwhelming response. Looks like I'm not getting laid this weekend.
Tell mom and/or dad that I am going to be home late. I am really blazed. Don't tell them that part, though.
Who's your beautiful friend? Please include the words "Straight", "Single", and "Legal" in your response.
Gay TA. Finally going to boost my GPA your way.
I mean how do you tell a nurse in the ER that you dislocated your knee giving a blowjob to your boyfriend.
Very innocently.
Idk he's just laying there passed out with a French fry up his nose and without any pants on. Boner and everything.
After seeing how much you are able to funnel in a night, I am 90% sure your blood is pure gin.
Recycling my beer bottles from breakfast counts for earth day, right?
I told you all we needed steroids to survive the tour de franzia, like the bikers. But nobody listened...
Me, him and the recently stolen carpet walked down the road and into the strip club. We had to check the carpet with our coats, it didn't mind missing out too much, later the door guy at Subway held carpet during late night sandwich selection.
He told me my outfit made me look like a twelve year old then proceeded with "but you don't look like a whore"
This has to be the weirdest conversation I've ever had sober and in the middle of the day before.
Was so high at one point last night that while showering I was worried that using too much hot water would slow down our Internet.
NOT ALL OF US HAVE THE HANDS OF GODDAMN ANGELS YOU KNOW
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