Wanna demo a makeout? Check box yes or no. Or maybe. Okay bye.
I love Welcome Back Week...No I wont accept your god but i will accept that hot dog
In retrospect - making it rain salt all over our kitchen was not one of my best ideas.
btw, her name was actually Alixx. in retrospect, it was pretty much a gimme
You going out tonight?
No I am at the hospital. Throwing up blood is apparently frowned upon.
he told me he expects me to keep the fangs on when i go down on him. presumptuous, yes, but man after my own heart.
I'm going to replace you with a friend who will be happy when I find a huge penis
You're on Grindr at the STD clinic. I love you.
But I mean, have you ever just LOOKED at how majestic penises are? They are like ivory columns of pure wonder!
And if I could both stabilize myself *and* pick things up with my penis... Well, I wouldn't be on the fire dept...
In the middle of our bar crawl last night we stopped to pet dogs at a dog park. who would let a drunk person bet play with their dog???
I couldn't find a water bottle, so I sent her to school with her juice in a flask. Who the hell let me become a parent?
Everyone got an underage but her
How'd she get out of it?!
She hid in the FUCKING DRYER
So, I almost went hone with a French guy and a drag queen. Together. Then I became sober enough to realize, that's not my style.
I live in Vegas It shouldn’t be this hard to find a penis looking for a night of no strings attached sex
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