Please, let me fuck your mom
just found out there is no tactful way to ask your girlfriend to wax her stache. no matter what a google search would have you believe.
My parking ticket this morning was 30bucks. I feel like I'm paying the city to fuck you.
She just dipped a dollar bill in her queso dip and almost ate it before I slapped it out of her hand, no more bar crawls..
there is a strobe light in my taxi. in what way is this safe.
Im just saying it can't be that bad if he drove himself to the er. We'll head that way when we finish playing scattergories
Random question: Have you ever woken up and were suprised to not have a penis?
While we were having sex he asked me if I wanted to get wingstop after. I think I found my future husband.
I'm eating taquitos in the bathtub at 5:30 am. What a great end to the night
You are the best. Or certainly adequate for tempering my unholy desires.
That's the nicest thing you've ever said to me.
I helped you wax your vagina and you won't even get me Corn Nuts you fucking bitch?
I just lectured my ex boyfriend on how to eat a girl out what has my life come to
I'll accept that I'm a woo girl. Just not the drunk cowboy hat wearing bar mongering twat bag type
He makes me want to cheat on my other 3 boyfriends..
I definitely almost just pulled a condom out of my purse instead of money for my dad.
Randomize
