I GPSed you we're an hour and 14min away from each other
and it's going to stay that way
there was a guy here who managed to get his head stuck in a fishbowl. no, I don't fuckin know how
His pubic hair was longer than his dick
The last thing I remember is yelling "ill handle this" while wearing a lion suit and holding a jug of vodka when the RAs came
While he was going down his phone rang and he answered saying I'll call you later I'm eating.
The drugs are starting to wear off. Suddenly aware there's a girl with bald patches and 2 guys that don't have a full set of teeth between them.
She just called to say she can support a full bottle of vodka between "the girls" now. I'm going over, don't try and stop me.
We got jeff a deep fryer for his bday. So far the count is two potatoes and your iPod.
I'm really good at handling things like foreskin and speech impediments.
Speaking of ejaculate, did you get the side of your car cleaned off?
Definitely just realized I wore a shirt that says "building leaders for Christ" to a hookup. Roll tide.
Never do acid then ask for a blow job while watching 28 Days Later. Heed my advice.
I let my daughters ex boyfriend take me home from the bar. Hey, at least he's old enough to drink
Being drunk at Chick-fil-A is a dystopian experience
QUIT STEALING MY PHONE AND SEXTING MY MOM!!!!
Randomize
