she came over and started getting naked and said its not like i came over to just hang out
youve hit the jackpot
did you know you can prarie-dog a fart??
Probably should plan this out. Step one: grow stache. Two: get trenchcoat. Three: Kidnap Selena Gomez.
I had better be fucking involved with step four.
No, I'm only going to drink half my paycheck. That's the responsible thing to do.
I almost masterbated to the avatar love scene ha it was so hot
Their wedding is on my 21st birthday. I fail to see a way that this could end poorly.
Apparently I was pointing at birds and yelling "YOU USED TO BE A DINOSAUR!!!"
drunk old tina is grateful for 14 yr old tina for placing glow-in-the-dark stickers on my light switch...just avoided so many injuries
Wait, you seriously DON'T keep vodka in your backpack??!??!?
he told me i could have the honorable privilege of being the second girl to have sex with him in his new apartment, what a gentleman.
My night can be summed up in 3 words: Vodka. Threesomes. Hospital.
I just wish he'd leave so I can vomit in peace.
Only thing exciting about him was his dick.
My neck is sore from all the headbanging. And I can't tell the difference between the jello stains and cum stains.
She's got a shotglass necklace, running down the street asking people to "fill her up". Get here.
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