We need to have an Itty-Bitty Titty Committee mtg somewhere in the range of 5 minutes to ASAP.
Call me pathetic, but saying "tits for ireland" is working out really well on chatroulette today.
i know im back at school when i can poke any random spot on my body and expect a 80% chance that theres a bruise there
Apparently I also called my credit card company to demand a credit limit increase. I'm so content with not drinking another 60 days
Sober me does NOT approve of what went on in my pants last night.
She wanted to to do it on top of a horse, I can't compete with that
But life is now good. Well, not good, good would be not wearing the penis hat with the extended family of the boy I just cheated on, but as good as it's going to get today
I recorded his orgasm, set it as his ringtone, and called him while they were singing happy birthday to his mom. Yeah, revenge is sweet.
Who the fuck did i sell my right shoe to last night i need to get that back im not walking with one shoe on
Broeke and glass. I feel so and. Appilogixe in morbing.
And after we debated politics. My dream come true: naked, just got done having great sex with a hot mixed guy, talking about why social welfare programs are a bad idea
She said she's different now I guess anytime you get a bible tatt it automatically cancels out all the whoring you did for 10 years
We just don't discuss our relationships. It's pretty much like we're single no matter what to each other. And I'm okay with that. ¯\\(ツ)/¯
My house is about to be spotless and the only person visiting is the plumber and not the porno kind.
It was a glorious ass. He has amazing hands. I want to fuck him until he can't do math anymore.
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