i think i would be more confident if i were chinese.
you have to be so drunk to ignore a taser
i have my graded calc test (94%) sitting on my empty case of beer next to my desk. this is me winning at college.
I'll probably regret it tomorrow. But right now, accepting this $2000 credit card so that I can finance booty calls from across the united states sounds like a golden idea.
I want to throw all of their shoes in the pool so I feel like there is some justice in the world
I think the guy I was trying to dance with was an undercover cop...
I still think he fell and scraped his elbow and lost his credit card buying 8 hot chocolates for hobos
hey now, it was 6 bucks for 5 shots. you would have lost your panties too.
all i've had to eat today is leftover bday cake and a shot of tequila.
welcome to college.
You knocked on your freshman year room door, told the kids who opened it "I own you", and attempted to force-feed them everclear.
I swear every time I see him he's either dancing or trying to touch people
We watched playoff games and fucked so we could both see the TV. I've now found true love.
I got sprayed in the face with titty milk and I'm still so traumatized
He literally knows my vagina better then I do.
Got a $290 noise violation last night for shouting "THE KING OF THE NORTH" til 2 am
Randomize
