She got kicked off the plane and spent the last four hours in a holding cell with the feds.
but she's really nice
took shots out of a medicine cup. i can get used to college.
When I like her vacation photos, it really means "Im sleeping with your boyfriend." wonder if she will make the connection.
You can't call dibs 8 years later.
Definitely Got caught hugging a strangers tree last night with 5 others.
Meghan got a job at the bar. We're now morally obligated to drink. Is this what dreams are made of?
I have a new game. It's called "how weird can you act before a guy won't fuck you". I've deducted most guys are willing even if you're batshit insane.
Apparently im getting a reputation for how i mix drinks. Im the midas of booze. Everything i touch turns to koolaid.
I know this is really fun but I don't wanna glow anymore
I was galloping around pretending to give birth to pbrs. I could have used a mask.
Dude, the lecture theatre is caving in on me.
Oh you know just explaining sexual consent to a drunk 80 year old man. How is this my life?
Homeboy just asked me to strip for him. He should not be this horny and allowed to be in Vegas with his kid.
He kept screaming "I am the thunder!" when he was riding me.
Alone, in the dark, eating tacos and drinking vodka. Who's apartment is this?
Randomize
