you know what would be great? if dirt tasted like steak and could get you drunk.
I cant date a girl that sucks dick at sucking dick
Even if you were sober, spitters are STILL quitters, end of story.
I'm watching Intervention to get pumped up for tonight
He was putting purell on my boobs saying "they need to be clean for later." He hadn't had a drink all night
Her husband keeps getting drunk and making out with me. Good news is I found the strep carrier. Bad news is have strep again.
my goal is to masturbate without thinking about my exbf.
I just asked the contractor building my house what it would cost to put a garbage disposal in all the shower drains...there was a lot of judging going on.
She took a picture of me when she thought I was sleeping. I don't know whether to be amused or scared.
They're tearing apart the house I lost my virginity in:(
Denial and avoidance are my survival strategies for 2013.
Denial, avoidance and beer.
Now he's crying and asking for 'the cameras' to come out. The one cop is laughing
Dude hobos go hard. I learned a lot last night.
He came to my Harry Potter marathon wearing a Hogwarts uniform. Of course I fucked him.
On another note I am sitting in my bed naked, buzzed, and working on a notecard for my 8:00am test tomorrow. I think I need to make better choices.
Randomize
