i like that octo mom she is my favorite xmen
she's just sitting in a corner ripping all of the filters off her menthols
I don't remember coming home but there is cereal EVERYWHERE
i need to buy one of the child leashes to wear at mardi gras or else im never making it out alive
Omg you had literally better be on fire, drowning, and being crucified all at the same time to be calling me at 7:30 in the goddamn morning.
You know we had a good night last night when today I opened up my Google Translate application and the language is set to Persian and the phrase to translate is "I want you to suck my dick".
If it carries over into the weekend I would be glad to nurse your vagina back to health.
I made her orgasm until she cried. Four years of only having sex with dudes and I've still got it.
If you ever wanna get tagged teamed, army guys are pretty open to it. Write that down for future reference.
I just sold my hat for three car bombs. I call that a win.
You woke up, mumbled something about forgetting to lock the truck at work, slapped my ass, then passed out again...
Also not to brag but I got high last night and got us a host family in a chateau in the south of France
decided to jump from one of the levels of the Westin chicago Nortghwest. it was worth the broken legs.
I think I kinda scared him when I tried to wrap his snake around his dick while he was trying to nap.
Do you realize our room single-handedly hooked up with most of that wedding party last night?
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