There was a fist fight in my basement last night at four in the morning, in case you were wondering
Call me back. I want to hear your side of the dead cat in my garage story.
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
When I try to close my eyes ibwant to puke. Going to the basement to watch pocohantas. That'll keep myeyes open. And puke free.
i want to find a way to basically assault his face with my vagina.
Am I really that girl who walks around half naked wearing a cowboy hat begging for liquor at some random guys house
Ultimate Fighter Idea. You and I both have unprotected sex with the same girl in the spam of days. Whoever the child belongs to, wins and that child is the ultimate ultimate fighter.
How high are you?
Just gave a blow job while wearing a shirt that says 'world's coolest mom' idk how my conscience feels...
they set my background as his mugshot to remind me "having a big penis won't be a valid excuse in a court room."
He came over apologized for his lack of sexual skills. Cleaned my kitchen cooked me dinner. And gave me another one minute stand. I think im okay with this
According to my snapchat story, I tore a fake wig off a security guard and ran away with it.
I don't like pregnant me. I eat very large burritos, I don't like having sex and I can't even finish a Blue Moon.
It's barely past noon, how am I already talking about double penetration
I'm surronded by jorts. You're probably too drunk to care. I'm gonna cry now. Love you.
I just got dumped by my fuck buddy. Now I have to have sex with my husband.
Randomize
