smell like capt'n and strawberry champagne
just sold my soul for a pack of cigaroos. little do they know they got the short end of the deal. suckers.
is it bad that upon arriving to my fourth sex toy party the sex toy lady instantly recognizes me?
the point i decided it was time to leave was when i was on the floor of the bar, after taking her down with me, and a table.
i need to find a notary that isn't going to turn me in for blatantly lying to the us and chilean governments
You have permanently scared my back with your nails. I would like to congratulate you on a job well done.
he does have a point though, watching you drink makes me never want to drink again
Remember camping when you drank 36 beers to yourself in one day and puked in your tent? Ready for round 2?
you started petting my head and said "there there, majestical unicorn. it won't be long before we get you back to neverland."
On a scale of zero to "unmitigated disaster," how drunk is he?
Dude just bought the table 3 bottles of champaign and broke one on the floor as his "signature" and he makes me want this recession hit harder
I'm told I threw my cigarettes at the TV one by one Shouting about the cast of Community.
Went home w the NY Islander in a NY Rangers jersey, needless to say he was pissed
He better be a good lay, these underwear cost $50.
She made kool-aid with tequila instead of water and rolled a blunt about the size of an Oscar Mayer hot dog. Best blind date I've ever had. I think I will love her tell my dieing day!
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