her voice is like 435,765 daggers being simultaneously twisted into my eardrum
i'd rather just be hit by a car than answer her phone calls
I almost masterbated to the avatar love scene ha it was so hot
i figure i've seen his cum stains on the floor, i'm allowed to say these things.
someone just laughed at me while i'm laying on the floor waiting for the bus. like they've never been hungover.
I dunno, but she kept buying me shots and asking me to go places with her. oh btw we're signed up to go bungee jumping Saturday
Do you have any idea how hard it is to concentrate on legal issues with the ghost of his giant penis in me?
So some sort of safe sex group just flash mobbed the bar by putting condoms over people's beers.
They left screaming as a hale of lubbed up condoms rained into their hair.
Completely smashed, masturbating to the view of the ocean. Family vacations are more tolerable than I thought
oh you know, the usual stuff. getting kicked out of bars and sleeping in cars.
you're the one asking for my vibrator at 4 in the morning so reconsider your life
Only you would get a side of potential vagina with your sandwich
Dude respond to my evite. You're either coming to the orgy or not.
I snuck out three pillows from the hotel i was rolling so hard. They are like little clouds. I regret nothing.
Good news!! I can adult!! 😂 turning down the strip club on a weeknight has become my crowning achievement ðŸ˜ðŸ˜‚
The cl.oudds are foaming a really big pen.Is OMG.
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