How can i ever say i miss u when u wont go away
My hand is eating my burrito and not saving any for my mouth. TRIPPPPPPPPPPPPPPINN!
So there's 10 guys in this picture..I've made out with 5 of them. does this make me a slut?
eh 50% isn't bad..i'd say 80% is slut material.
I made friends with a raccoon. I pet it. Like I was Pocahontas.
It's like the only way I know how to apologize is by giving a blow job.
I have vodka an food stamps. At some point today, that will undoubtedly turn into jello shots.
I'm puking to John Mayor, save me. Or at least change it to somethong beyyt
i convinced her i need a blow job every morning to wake up because i have a medical condition.
I'm just learned what a rim job is, I feel like crying
My way of showing team usa support, bronze: handy silver: bj gold: home run. God, I'm patriotic
I think I'm done drinking. How did we end up partying at a frat house with my mom...
Yea not today, I ending up taking a shit behind a tree last night.
The last thing I searched on my phone was "leave in conditioner on cats." This is where my life is.
I accepted my type is not "conventionally attractive" when she asked me "Him? Are you sure?" 5 times in front of him last night
I swear my vagina needs to be taken away from me when I drink.
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