ya dads aren't the best wingmen
she was pretty much dry humping my leg when her boyfriend walked in. he says "you should probably leave." all i could come up with was "YEAH, I KNOW!"
And then he came out of the bathroom in a kimono
I just read the lonely terrorist on nwa had 40 more friends than me on facebook
I just got cash back from buying a pregnancy test so that I can buy a case of joose. My life is in shambles.
your friend did not want a bj. we need to leave. this is very awkward.
she's living proof man. somebody has literally pissed in the gene pool
It's ok. Rob's just shotgunning upside down.
we should drop off a car at the police station before going out tonight so we can drive home in the morning
there is a dorito bag in my car full of my mouth blood
I'm drunk, we're losing, and I'm in the visitors stands. This is about to get ugly.
Jerry got outside again, i found him making dirt angels in the garden. I need to put a bell on that bastard.
you know it's been too long when the heat of a pizza box on your lap turns you on.
I don't need to know how horny your mother is, hun.
I am watching xfiles and eating microwaved cookiedough, and I see nothing wrong with it.
Randomize
