Man THE POSTAL SERVICE is awesome when I'm high..... But they suck when I'm sober.
at first I thought it was funny, but looking at it now, it screams "dramatic" and "medicated wipes."
Oh I also wanted to thank you for leaving your list of porn sites on the coffee table. Very entertaining.
Some guy just delivered flowers to my roommate cause he fell off a roof onto her at a party last night. I think they have a date tomorrow.
We played "race the Jimmy John's driver". Order, then see if we can finish sex before the food arrives.
Besides asking our teacher if he enjoyed being fisted did I have any other tragic moments last night?
We had on the same team jersey so at the time it made sense to hook up.
Duh.
Driving by his house every hour is not stalking, it's a reconnaissance mission... How else can I confront him
So in Aca Taco on grad night 1am, this bitch walks in alone drunk as fuck in her gown to the front of the line and says, "I graduated today...thank YOU"
Jk. Anyone who everbeers with me is my type.
My g-ma saw your dick-pic and wants you to know I've got a keeper. She says her big whopper died in Korea. Good thing g-pa is still asleep.
My booty call just moved 2 min from my house
This has pregnancy written all over it
Lol no. She's home safe. You forget she is too pretty to get arrested.
meanwhile at my house I found 2 bud heavys in the back of my book shelf crammed between a Franklin book and goodnight moon
Soooo you know how I said I was trying to be a rational adult? Well that led to me fucking a rational adult today.
Randomize
