so just incase you wake up on the couch wondering how you got there--you came home at 7am, put ice in a cup--then you proceeded to put the cup in the microwave and melt it because you "wanted water". you then, fell down the stairs while saying "you don't know me" then crawled to the couch.
any plan I had today of being a productive member of society, I am officially throwing out the window.
ive decided something. ive accepted you as being gay. but i havent accepted you as a vegetarian yet.
He's got a wife and three kids but I'm into being that mistake.
Europe's "the final countdown" was playing. It was pretty much amnesty for anything that might happen the rest of the night. It's a rule.
She didn't need to know her brother was thrown out of a bar for getting head on the dance floor. You're a shit head.
Thanks for not locking your door. I had to pee and there was a random person throwing up in my bathroom so I used yours. \nPS I stole your soap
Our lady landlord called. Dot worry, I handled it. Drunk. Tell her it was Nate. Done. Good. Bye. Drunk.
You were so drunk, you called my cruise control, the "auto pilot" and asked my car politely to take us to Taco Bell.
No one ever gets any after sleeping with her. She is like the broken mirror of hookups, enjoy 7 years of blue ball. Don't say I didn't warn you
hes like bread. how could bread be dangeous
I was told to keep my leg elevated. I assume it means to keep my legs on the air, it's like I was prescribed to be slutty
It was the hardest I ever came in my life and once I could see straight again I just looked at him and said "cool"
i think i just encouraged him to glue googly eyes to my boobs
we watched a porno and made a drinking game out of it. best first date ever.
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